Starting from scratch

Things have been at a complete stand still in the Soup household the last few weeks.  We moved R.Soup over to her own room because she kept waking up at 3:30 in the morning to hang out with her mama.  No thank you my dear sweet baby love.

She hasn't been having a hard time going to bed.  Some nights she even sleeps all the way through to morning.  But then there are other nights where she wakes up multiple times throughout the night and I'm the only one that she wants to see.

I've spent the last few weeks trying to recoup from the the previous weeks when I was being allotted approximately 3 hours of sleep during the night.  

We've been making a point to go to sleep as soon as the girls are asleep, so that I'm not dying the next day.  Mess has been piling and piling and piling, and I haven't even thought about the projects going on in the basement.  On nights that we don't go to bed, we sit on the couch and watch some TV and hold our breath (well at least I do) waiting to hear crying coming through the monitor.

I finally broke down last week and invited people over to the house for a Sunday get together.  Which forced us to frantically clean the main level of the house in prep for them coming over.  I wouldn't care if it was a normal level of mess.  But this was hoarder style disgusting mess and was starting to affect my daily outlook.

So now the main level of the house looks... better.  Like 1000 times better but still not what I think it should look like.  But as long as we can keep up with this level of clean, we can work towards my dream clean.  Minus toys.  Nothing ever looks clean when its covered in a rainbow of baby toys.  Honestly I'm not (always) bothered by them.  Its the inch fine coating of sand under them that bothers me.

Upstairs on the other hand.  Disaster area.  Our old mattress is still standing up in the hallway outside our bedroom.  The cats have claimed it as their new climbing tree since its the highest place they can be.  I'm afraid at this point they might revolt when we move it out.  There's boxes of hand-me-down baby related things (mostly clothes... MORE clothes) that need to be washed and sorted.  I have a ton of things lying around currently that I want to put into the bathroom, but haven't had any time to actually WORK on the bathroom.

In addition to THAT - because that's not enough and I want you to truly understand the state I've allowed our house to get to - there's four... FOUR loads of clean baby laundry.  We also have one or two loads of our laundry.  We only have 4 laundry baskets. That means one of the "baskets" is dumped on the floor somewhere.  And the dirty clothes hampers are starting to fill up again.  It never ends.

Okay.  But enough about clothes mess.

Sometime in the last month, the light in our ceiling fan stopped working.  So the majority of the time that we spend in our bedroom we have to use our phones as flashlights and have the hall and bathroom lights on so we can actually see things.

D.Soup bought a kit to fix it the other day, but accidentally bought the ceiling fan kit instead of the light kit.  So now we are back at square one.

I think I'm finally finding a groove (and the energy) where - if R.Soup stays asleep - I can get things done.  I did what felt like a million things on Wednesday night when I got back downstairs.  I'm hoping I can keep that pace up.

Also, I need to be starting back over on an exercise regimen. Once I stopped sleeping, I stopped caring about my 30 day challenge.  Which is unfortunate because I had made it to day 14.  I'm going to start that back up here soon, and hopefully stick it out for the entire 30 days.  I'd also like to pick up with some "running" sometime in the near future.

Here's hoping I can get back on some kind of schedule soon.

30 Day Little Black Dress Challenge from 30 Day Fitness Challenges

Yesterday, Pinterest kindly sent me an email full of 30 day challenge workouts.  I guess it noticed I had been pinning things to my "If I ever get motivated to work out" board and decided to help me out a little.

Well, it worked, and today I decided I'm going to start a 30 day challenge, mainly this one:

source

The 30 Day Fitness website is pretty cool.  They have a bunch of these challenges.   They even include videos of all of the workouts included in the challenges so you know exactly what you're supposed to be doing.  They even have an app!  Which I think is awesome.  Hopefully it helps keep me motivated.
I'm going to track my changes, so I'll try to be good about posting when I'm done.  I may even take pictures.

But that's a scary thought so we'll see. 

MzSoup's personal weight loss challenge

I mentioned getting back into healthy habits briefly in this post, but wanted to go a little more into it.  I have slowly and steadily gained 50 pounds over the last 10 years.  A little bit at a time so that I didn't really notice it, until it was too late.  Well, I gained about 15 of those pounds during pregnancy and just never lost them.  But they are still there so they count.  Dang it.

I signed up for two 5K run/walks, one in April and one in May, and started Couch to 5k at the end of February to try to get myself ready to run.  Walking or running three times a week and keeping track of my calorie intake using My Fitness Pal, I ended up losing 10 pounds in a little over a month.  It was enough to keep me motivated and working... until April hit and it was crunch time for finishing everything for L.Soup's birthday party on the 13th.  I of course decided I had to make everything myself (or as much as possible) and I went slightly overboard with the decorations.  I was adamant that I would pick it back up as soon as I felt ready for the party.

But that was a lie.

As soon as the party was over, I was exhausted.  For about a week.  THEN I had to work on cleaning everything up (and lets be honest, there's STILL some decorations up around the house... and I'm not even embarrassed about it... okay maybe a little).  And then I was exhausted for another week.

I never had the energy or time to pick it back up.  So I walked both 5K's.  Which isn't a terrible thing, but I had really wanted to try running, since I had put so much work into it.  Oh well.

Well, here I am.  It's July.  I still haven't lost this baby weight, and my baby is 15 months old.  I think I've finally gotten it into my head that I need to DO this.  So I'm putting it out here.  Almost like I'm shaming myself into putting in the effort.  Because now that you all know, I have to at least try.  I've even been debating with myself if I should take before pictures and post them up here, but I don't know if I want to expose you all to that.  Maybe I will take some, and keep them around for motivation anyway.

So I've started back up with My Fitness Pal -- if anyone is there, mzsoup is my user name (of course), friend me!  I've also added a weight loss tracker here, from MFP... It's waaaayy down on the right hand side somewhere.  (That number includes from when I was working before.)

D.Soup and I have a plan to pick out all the meals we want for the week, and make a shopping trip.  Getting only the stuff we would need for that week.  That way we stick to our planned meals, and don't overspend.  The last 2 weeks it has worked really well for us.

We get a lot of our recipes from Skinnytaste, I've never been disappointed by a recipe that I've pulled off of there.  I really appreciate the people that take time to share the healthy meals they are making for their families, because sometimes I run out of ideas.

At the moment I don't have any huge plans for starting seriously back up with running.  We love to go on walks as a family, and we have a bike seat for L.Soup so we can go on bike rides together too.  In a few weeks we're going to have to start physical therapy with Calli, so I will be getting out more often.

I just have a lot of other things I would rather be doing that running, at the moment.  I'd like to see how the weight loss goes for a little while with just changing my eating habits. 

I'll keep you posted.

Side Note: Better Luck Next Week!

Since obviously this week was a giant, huge, disastrous bust for the whole diet/exercise thing... I'm pushing the start date back.

Next week... NEXT WEEK I say. I will start C25K for real and get back to making super-awesome good-for-me-not-carry-out-dinners. Which will be the exact opposite of this week.

I have my schedule all set up for starting on Saturday (aka tomorrow).

Proof

See? This way I'll HAVE to do it.

Cross your fingers.

Thinking

I woke up with a migraine this morning. One that, if not dealt with immediately had the potential to be a doozey. And yes, spell check... that is a real word. So shut your face.

I ripped myself from my 10 inches of space that D.Soup had left me to sleep in. Glared at him, and the 15 inches on the other side of him. And stumbled my way blindly to the bathroom.

After searching in every cabinet I could find (in the dark).... And almost throwing a few bottles of what was NOT Excedrin Migraine across the room.... I remembered that the miracle drug was downstairs. Blast.

I crawled back into my tiny space, not so nicely asked D.Soup to share the {damn} bed, and let him know that he needed to get up so he could be my hero. There's no way I was making it down the stairs.

My loving, adoring husband took his sweet time getting out of bed... and made sure to make a pit stop in the bathroom before heading downstairs to find me my relief. Thanks love.

He finally brought it upstairs, alone. No water. No cup even. Thanks again.

And THEN, he flipped on the lights so he could start to get ready. Luckily, while in my head I was hissing and screaming nothing but HATE at him, my mouth could only manage "uuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnn" while I rolled over an covered my eyes as quickly as I could. (For those that don't have the luxury of experiencing a migraine, light = BAD).

So once again, eyes closed, face planted firmly in the crook of my elbow, I made a mad blind dash for the darkness of the bathroom. I scooped water from the sink into my mouth like I had been lost in the desert for a week and just found a river... and tossed back the breakfast of champions.

I knew it was a terrible idea, but there was no stopping me.

The nausea that ensued for the following hour was completely worth my lack of headache.

...I just gave myself a pep talk in the bathroom. It was, and I quote:

"Okay, Shambles. Get your shit together."

I'm doing much better now.



But this got me to thinking... We're making plans to start a family sometime in the near future...

What on earth am I going to do without Excedrin Migraine for 10 months?

Ten.whole.months, and most likely more, with no light at the end of the tunnel when a migraine randomly decides to grace me with its presence. And who knows what other kinds of crazed emotions I will be experiencing while another life form is growing inside of me... A migraine like that could set of an entire domino effect of disaster.

There's only one answer...

The Soup house is going to become a war zone. One of us may not make it out alive. And I don't know if it will be me - in my debilitated state, or my husband - who will have to go up against Hulk Smash, that will survive.

I need to buy the animals some armor.

Side Note: Realization

I'm not funny in writing.

I have my moments in person, you know, if you can get past the stuttering. Because for some reason I can not get through a story without ti-ti-ti-ticking through parts or, lets be honest, completely forgetting words anymore.

I read through these other blogs and end up completely in tears because of the way they have told their story. And I think, this kind of stuff happens to me, but I can't portray it in the same way.

I must work on this.

Serious Business Time

Alright, well as much as it hurts me to admit this... I've pretty much gained all the weight back that I lost in April/May. An entire 8 pounds... I knew it was going to happen with all the time I took off. But it didn't stop me from almost losing it last night when I stepped on the scale. It was probably stupid of me to do it after a day of eating, but it sent an important message home...

Well today that ends.

I was doing so freaking good. Damn it, there were actual results and I still just gave up. I'm really irritated at myself. I NEED to lose this weight, it's to the point of ridiculousness now. It's got to go.

Today I'm starting up C25K again. And I'm going to run every other day until I'm done. And maybe I'll keep running after that.

We're also getting back on the wagon with healthy cooking today. We didn't have any groceries, and so abandoned all hope of making good-for-us food. But we fixed that this weekend, so we have food to make and good things to eat. Finally.

So,

• Back on with Fake Watchers.
• Back on with Tracking my weight daily.
• Back on with Making dinner every night and taking leftovers for lunches.
• Back on with C25K and other forms of exercise.

I feel like I need to do this, not just for the weight loss... but for myself. I always get motivated to do it, and never follow all the way through.

I will do it this time.

Side Note: The verdict

We went to the shoe store tonight... I walked around barefoot for the guy to gauge what kind of shoe I would need. He recommended these:
Mizuno Inspire Running Shoes.

They are now mine.

They are so light it hardly feels like I am wearing shoes. We didn't have time to go running tonight to test them out, but hopefully tomorrow!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

See Mz. Soup Run

I, obviously, have become quickly addicted to blogger-dom.

I've heard, briefly, about the Couch to 5K (C25K) program before, but don't really enjoy running that much and never considered it something that I was interested in.

Yesterday, Jenna from ThatWife posted about her C25K experience. Getting a chance to see someone who considered them self "not a runner" - like myself - document her progress, her descriptions of each month, the trials she faced... That was all really cool, interesting and actually very helpful.

But the most important thing: the results. She's shared the charting of her progress with us, and I can see first hand how much it helped her. She had nothing but good things to say about the experience...



So last night I started the program too.

We finished making dinner, and even though I wanted to lay down on the couch and take a nap (because I'm STILL exhausted all the time) I went upstairs and grabbed some workout clothes and headed to the gym with D.Soup.

C25K app

Jenna also recommended the C25K app. So I downloaded it onto my iPad (its a iPod app, so it doesn't fill the whole screen, but I was okay with that). It gives you verbal instructions each time you're supposed to switch between walking and running, and allows you to create a playlist from any music that you have on you iPod. You can also make journal entries after each run to keep track of yourself. It was pretty cool.

Week 1 Day 1:
Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

Check.

It wasn't even hard. I just didn't have the motivation to talk myself into it before. Fake watchers started the motivation, now lets just hope that I have the energy to keep up with it.

I'm pretty sure I'm in need of new shoes though. I think I've had mine for about 5 years. And while they didn't get a whole lot of use in that time, I feel its time for a replacement.

D.Soup and I are going to this cool shoe place in Annapolis recommended by 2 friends of ours now... The people there watch you walk, pick out a few pairs of shoes that could be a good match, and then throw you on a treadmill and tape you while you're running to analyze your needs better. So that you get the best shoe available for your running style.

That all sounds really cool. Until you get to the part where they are going to video.tape.me.running. I don't rightly know if that's something that I want to witness, I might never run again...

Day 2:
Tomorrow.

Happy (Rainy) Hump Day!

It's Wednesday.

That's about the extent of my insight.

I sat and stared at my blog yesterday for about 4 hours, trying to think of something interesting to write about. Obviously I never came up with anything, since there was no post. I finally decided that nothing happened Monday that was worthy of talking about. Other than my doctor's appointment. I figured it was better if I DIDN'T talk you through that, as it was a mildly traumatic experience for me and I didn't want to put anyone else through that without being face to face with them. The story involves a lot of whispering and face making, and is much better and less terrifying in person. I should find out today if anything came from the tests.

It WAS decided yesterday that I am trading the "my husband" for D.Soup. I guess that makes me A.Soup... or Mz.Soup. That makes me happy.

One of my friends at work sent out a link to a post at The Oatmeal this morning. She then turned around and informed me that THIS:

reminds her of me. Which is completely accurate. That's actually the exact list of terrifying things that goes through my brain if I have somehow managed to end up at home, alone, when its dark out. So thanks to The Oatmeal for portraying my terror so accurately.

On a different note... Calli had a playdate yesterday. With a half grown Bull Mastiff. Which means he's about 8 times her size and that his back came up to my waist. It was a little overwhelming, for all of us. I took a few pictures of them when they finally calmed down and were distracted by chew toys with D.Soup's phone. But since I fail at this whole "I'm going to upload pictures to my computer" concept, we'll see how long it takes for them to get here.

The girls in my office have been doing Weight Watchers. It's really been working for them. They talk about it all the time and have me looking at websites with Weight Watcher friendly recipes. So I talked to one of my friends about it and we've decided to start "Fake Watchers." Most of the information that you need from the real Weight Watchers meetings is available online, for free. The other part of WW that is really helpful for most people is the weekly weigh-in and support group. We are going to be each others support and record weekly weigh-ins where we both can see the results. We just started yesterday, so we'll see how it goes. I think this will be good for me, because I obviously don't have energy to work out after work and all I want to do is sleep all the time, so I'm gaining weight even though I'm not eating any more than before.

I picked up my loom to work on the infinity scarf a little more last night. Got about 10 lines in, then curled up in a ball on the couch and went to sleep. It was 9 pm. Doug woke me up about an hour later so that we could go to bed.

I think I've squeezed everything possible out of my brain.

Things like this make my life

I might be mildly obsessed with cats...

So when I see things like this, it makes me happy:

And when finding something like that in turn causes me to find something similar, but still amazing, like this:

It makes me even more happy.

The end.